Pain Killers Again
by Maureen Mooney
Summary: Just an AU Tiva one-shot set after Judgment Day. Tony is hurt and believed to be dead, but Ziva gets one more miracle after all. Some angst, OOC moments, and a funny Tony.


Just a one-shot Tiva AU, set in season 5 after Judgment Day

Pain Killers Again:

_Ziva, I'm so sorry. Truth is I've written this e-mail a hundred times because I just don't know what to say. Tony was taken into surgery this morning. We lost him. I'm so sorry that I have to e-mail this to you rather than tell you in person where I could comfort you. I know we all lost something, but your loss is even greater than mine. I know how much you two wanted to start a life together. He really did love you, Zi. I'm so sorry. Let me know if there's anything at all I can do for you. –Tim _

Ziva collapsed on the floor of her apartment in a heap. It didn't matter that Vance had shipped her to Israel, she should have flown home the minute she knew Tony was hurt. Sobs wracked her body as the towel she had had wrapped around her body came undone and coiled up on the floor. She knew it was futile to cry and she knew Tony would want her to stay strong and keep on going for him. Except she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to live without him. She sniffled and head slapped herself, "Marine's don't cry," she reminded herself, quoting Gibbs. She got dressed and followed her father's orders for the day even though her brain refused to comprehend that Tony was gone. Alone at lunch, she let tears slip down her face again and she shook with sobs once more. Tony DiNozzo was her everything and now he was gone. She would never hold him again or listen to his heartbeat. Sighing, she curled her fist around a bottle of ambien. A few of these and a 1/5th of a bottle of vodka and all her pain would be gone. She would be with Tony again. She wiped her eyes, put the bottle back in her purse and went back to work.

The next morning she heard the familiar trill of her e-mail account alerting her to a new message. She didn't feel much like checking it. It was probably McGee checking up on her. She walked to her computer anyway and sat down.

Message from Tony DiNozzo:

_Told you the Buckeyes would win. _

Tony? No, Tony was dead. But who else cared about the Buckeyes? Ziva prayed, her heart in her mouth and typed:

_Tony? _

Message from Tony DiNozzo:

_Can't kill a Buckeye that easy, Ziva. _

Ziva cursed. What the hell was going on? Tony was supposed to be dead. McGee was going to pay for this.

_Anthony Dominic DiNozzo, you'd better tell me what the hell's going on right now! And McGee, if this is you being a bastard and messing with my head, confess and knock it off! _

Message from Tony DiNozzo:

_Can't type much, Zi. _

_Oh Tony, Oh god. You're alive. Are you okay? Rest up and get better for me, love. And tell McGee I will kick his ass. _

Message from Tony DiNozzo:

_Far as McGee knew, I was gone. You okay babe? Don't cry. _

Ziva wiped the tears away from her cheeks, damn Tony for always knowing when she was crying.

_I'm fine now that I know you are okay. I have been in hell for the past day and a half. But it's all okay. _

Message from Tony DiNozzo:

_Love you too much to leave you now. _

Ziva typed back:

_You'd better not leave me. I don't know what I'd do without you and I'd really rather not find out. _

Message from Tony DiNozzo:

_I'm not going anywhere. Get on your IM, this is too hard to do. _

Ziva quickly typed in her ID and password for her messaging service.

Buckeye: There's my lady

NinjaChick: Tony?

Buckeye: Better be, who else calls you his lady? Better not be anyone else.

NinjaChick: McGee calls me a pretty lady sometimes.

Buckeye: I want to bust out of this hospital. The nurse just came in, I told her to get lost.

NinjaChick: Anthony Dominic DiNozzo! You be nice to your nurses. They are there to make sure you get better.

Buckeye: They deserve it after all the poking and prodding they did to me.

NinjaChick: That poking and prodding brought you back to me.

Buckeye: Bet I could pull these tubes out and sneak out of the hospital.

NinjaChick: Nice try, Tony. Leave the tubes alone. Or I will come back there and kick your butt.

Buckeye: Haha, you said butt. Does everyone have a butt? I can't see mine. Ouchie.

NinjaChick: What hurts, Tony? Are you all right?

Buckeye: You kicking my butt.

NinjaChick: Well yes, it would but if you behave I have no reason to kick your butt.

Buckeye: mmm, m'kay. Maybe you just like my butt, Zi. :)

Ninjachick: Did they give you painkillers, Tony?

Buckeye: I think so. But I don't want 'em. Told them not to give me the drugs. Don't wanna get hooked. Besides, I'm a tough guy.

NinjaChick: I know you are. But I think you need the painkillers.

Buckeye: I feel all groffy. Oops, groggy.

NinjaChick: That's a good thing, Tony, you need your rest.

Buckeye: Rest? Been doing too much resting. I want out of this bed.

NinjaChick: Tony, you stay in that bed. You need to get better.

Buckeye: You'll make me better. Why am I tied to this pole? Could drag it. Think they'd let me on the plane like this? The nurse keeps giving me dirty looks.

NinjaChick: Tony, I will call Bethesda and have you sedated if you don't cooperate. The nurse is probably angry because you told her to get lost.

Buckeye: Or because she told me lights out was 20 minutes ago. Hehe.

NinjaChick: Tony!

Buckeye: What?

NinjaChick: Stop hasseling the nurses. Do not make me come to Bethesda to make you behave.

Buckeye: Promise? Ok, ok, I'll turn out the light, but I don't type good without 'em.

Ninjachick: I am pretty sure that light's out means go to sleep Tony.

Buckeye: But mom! Fine, I'll go night night.

NinjaChick: That's good. You rest and get better, Tony. I love you.

Buckeye: I love you too, Zi. More than you know. Night.

NinjaChick: Good night, Tony. Sleep well.

Buckeye: I'll try. You too.

Buckeye is offline.

Ziva smiled and couldn't help giggling. Tony was probably the worst patient she knew of other than Gibbs. They both hated doctors and hospitals as well as medicines. She knew that by the end of Tony's stay in the hospital none of the staff would be sorry to see him go. She was just glad that Tony would be all right and that he wasn't going anywhere. She hoped to join him in America soon, she wasn't sure when America started to feel like home but she strongly suspected it had something to do with Tony. All she knew was she couldn't live without him and hated being apart from him. Hopefully Gibbs would let her come back soon.


End file.
